The internet is weird

I was in bed, alone, at quarter to one in the morning, having a silent disco to the Bryan Adams hit “Run to you” (complete with air-drum-solo) when I started idly perusing the internet. As you do. I went the traditional route of almost all late night internet searches - random thought, search, rabbit hole …

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The Great Chocolate Biscuit Debate

The other day I was minding my business, Skyping with my parents and eating a Kit-Kat when Daddyo stops mid sentence and says “Wait, what are you doing to that biscuit?” This is not the first time I have been queried in disgusted tones regarding the way I am eating something chocolate covered. You see, …

From hero to zero

When the pandemic happened many corporations closed their doors, but not before kicking out as many little guys that they possibly could. These, ironically, are the same big corporations who wax lyrical about sycophantic “pillar stones” of their businesses - pillar stones that include ‘Integrity,’ ‘honesty’ and ‘morality.’ Corporations who claim to “celebrate” the little …

So… this happened

You know self isolation has started to get the better of you when you see a Beetle on the windowsill... A Beetle that keeps flipping onto his back (despite your best efforts to right him again) and after a few hours of cheering on said Beetle to not let gravity get the better of him …

Nipple

During my little break from the rat race (before Cov-19) I decided to get some piercings. I had seen some very cute and delicate images of pierced ears pop up on my pinterest feed and soon become fixated. Now that I wasn’t working in an office in a client facing situation I also wasn't restricted …

You say hermit like it’s a bad thing…

With the current Cov-19 pandemic / London lockdown going on, it got me thinking about how many people are probably stuck inside around about now who might be bored and enjoy reading blog posts about stuff I have been meaning to write about. Only... I haven’t. Because procrastination is my own particular disease. So, how …

Getting into a right (Empire) State

To have a hope in hells chance of getting to the Empire State before the worst of the tourist crowds (to which I now belong) snaked around the building - we had to get up early. As luck would have it the time difference between London and New York made this horrific task a walk …

Ain’t no Times Square

I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting of Times Square but it certainly wasn’t what I saw. Not to scald you with my piping hot truth tea (because I KNOW this opinion won't be the remotest bit popular) but if I'm being entirely honest... I was a bit disappointed. As someone who has previously …

Gregory the great

Upon setting foot in New York for the first time you will inevitably catch yourself and say “Holy shit – I’m in New York!” It’s a bucket lost location. A marvel. The beating heart of all my Carrie Bradshaw fantasies. Now that I was actually here, I wanted to leap out of bed raring to …

New York, New York – a helluva town

I am in the fabulous United States of America. It only took a ten hour flight, vast quantities of bloody Mary's and the overpowering urge to escape from London to get me here. I have to tell you, the border security here is scary. They took fingerprints, a candid (and entirely unattractive) picture of me, …

New York State of mind

In exactly three weeks I will be in New York. This is very exciting, obviously. I have not entirely recovered from my nasty bought of pneumonia but as I’m also not infectious any more a little recuperation in the good old US of A is just what the doctor ordered. I want to immerse myself …

Comic Con – spring 2019

I went to the spring Comic-Con recently. Growing up in the golden area before the mobile phone I'm grateful to have been able to develop as a human being without the pressures of Facebook, Instagram and snapchat dragging me into a bigger pit of body dysmorphia and self loathing. Instead of taking pictures of myself …

Here Piggy Piggy

Apparently it’s the Chinese year of the pig! After a quick google, I am happy to report the year of the Pig attracts success in all the spheres of life and is also a great year to make money and invest. Good to know. If it can simply be the year I finally exterminate the …

Dressed to kill(?)

I’ve got a swanky do to go to at the end of November. A do that requires full-on glam and a cocktail dress. I’m slightly panicked about the entire situation Hopefully you can relate. You see... Last year Mr Maybes sister got married. Shopping for the wedding was traumatising. Especially as a designated social hermit …

I’m in a weird mood

As you can probably tell - I'm in a weird mood. My skin has partially broken out (bad), the inland revenue gave me £4,000 for overtaxing last year (good) - and my auntie just died (heartbreaking). There are also thunderflies everywhere, which makes any situation ten times worse. I attended the funeral in a fabulous …

Loo review – Whistle Trego, Hastings

I was recently in Hastings for a relaxing weekend away when I happened upon a little bar down an equally little side street. It was called Whistle Trego. This was quite an eclectic bar with random bits of art installed on the wall. It was the kind of a bar that (were it in Shoreditch) …

Adventures of a depressed executive assistant

Dear Diary Team keeps telling me what a lovely day it is outside while I sit at my desk, inbox heaving I can smell fresh air coming from a meeting room window kept ajar. It smells like freshly cut grass and broken dreams Dear Diary Chased by a homeless man in the park today while …

All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)

Everyone in our W1 office has some form of bug, flu or plague at the moment and inevitably my time has now come to share in this unwelcome game of tag. As it's Easter, my parents have taken pity on me and insisted I visit them regardless of the projectile mucus and 'Regan'-esque Exorcist vocals …

Commuting

I discovered the following on the tube this morning. An empty bottle of wine abandoned on the opposite seat. On a Thursday. At 07:30... And it made me reconsider both my commuting route and my life choices. Because - damn... I'm clearly not adulting correctly

So this is thirty … (two)

It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter …