Apparently when you die your whole life flashes before you. Well, that’s how I feel about lock down. It’s been this surreal blur so far - which is culminating in a “location shift.” I say “location shift” when I actually mean “panicked relocation.” The problem is - while my boyfriend and I love living in … Continue reading Guess what? We’re moving
I was in bed, alone, at quarter to one in the morning, having a silent disco to the Bryan Adams hit “Run to you” (complete with air-drum-solo) when I started idly perusing the internet. As you do. I went the traditional route of almost all late night internet searches - random thought, search, rabbit hole … Continue reading The internet is weird
I have a job now. Saints alive, yes it's true. An actual job working (virtually) in an actual office with actual real-life (virtual) people. Before this blessed occasion, like most people, I was clawing at the walls in frustration. So much so that I applied for a job at a dry cleaners. I'm no stranger … Continue reading You’ve got to be kidding me – right?
Okay... let me explain. I was what you might call an intense child. Before reaching double didgets I was reading Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe, listened to classical music and opera, suffered from terrible OCD, wrote dark poetry and had an invisible friend who was a hit and run victim. I was basically Wednesday Adams. … Continue reading T is for Traumatic tbh
We recently had a heatwave in London. Even though it’s July, it was entirely unexpected. You see - when it’s hot in England it comes on suddenly and with a vengeance and it’s gone just as quickly. I had put on a floaty dress to combat the temperature and as a result (and in order … Continue reading Fridge Magnet
Before I was dissed and covid-dismissed I worked at a large firm. In fact, a lot of little guys were and we were equally desposed of a la used Kleenex tissues in hayfever season. Quickly and without remorse. The last time layoffs of this magnitude had occurred at this firm it was 2008 during the … Continue reading Is anyone else sick of the fake job ads?
I’m really fed up of all this #CancelCulture It’s insane how quickly the social media masses will indignantly grab their torches and pitchforks and converge on a public figure to tear them from limb to limb. Run them off the internet. Cancel them. FINITO. Granted, if it comes to light that someone has committed a … Continue reading Cancel Culture
The other day I was minding my business, Skyping with my parents and eating a Kit-Kat when Daddyo stops mid sentence and says “Wait, what are you doing to that biscuit?” This is not the first time I have been queried in disgusted tones regarding the way I am eating something chocolate covered. You see, … Continue reading The Great Chocolate Biscuit Debate
When the pandemic happened many corporations closed their doors, but not before kicking out as many little guys that they possibly could. These, ironically, are the same big corporations who wax lyrical about sycophantic “pillar stones” of their businesses - pillar stones that include ‘Integrity,’ ‘honesty’ and ‘morality.’ Corporations who claim to “celebrate” the little … Continue reading From hero to zero
I’m currently #safeathome with Mr Maybe - but over the past couple of weeks cabin fever has started to slowly settle in. Not for me obviously but Mr M isn’t suited for limited social interaction. While I’m happily pottering around planting a windowsill herb garden, testing cook book recipes and taking the opportunity to reorganise … Continue reading So… I started a BookTube Channel
You know self isolation has started to get the better of you when you see a Beetle on the windowsill... A Beetle that keeps flipping onto his back (despite your best efforts to right him again) and after a few hours of cheering on said Beetle to not let gravity get the better of him … Continue reading So… this happened
During my little break from the rat race (before Cov-19) I decided to get some piercings. I had seen some very cute and delicate images of pierced ears pop up on my pinterest feed and soon become fixated. Now that I wasn’t working in an office in a client facing situation I also wasn't restricted … Continue reading Nipple
With the current Cov-19 pandemic / London lockdown going on, it got me thinking about how many people are probably stuck inside around about now who might be bored and enjoy reading blog posts about stuff I have been meaning to write about. Only... I haven’t. Because procrastination is my own particular disease. So, how … Continue reading You say hermit like it’s a bad thing…
Being a semi-functional adult - my life is incredibly busy. Incredibly... somewhat obnoxiously busy one might venture to say. I’m sure you can relate. Try as I might, I don’t really seem to have time for the things that I love doing anymore. Like reading. Between you and me - I have a vast array … Continue reading Bookish and Bewildered
Back in New York my parents and I piled into a cab one morning on our way to brunch. We were zooming past Saks and laughing at tourists who looked exhausted, grumpy and were clearly making the error of walking absolutely everywhere... when I idly perused the inside of the cab to my left where … Continue reading Wait… is that blood?
Oh, Hi there. Long time no see. What have I been doing for the past seven months? Well, I’ve been perfecting the art of a french martini while splayed on the sofa covered by a gorgeous cashmere throw I found at a flea market and binge watching Garrett Watts videos on youtube. Because he is uncomplicated … Continue reading The Subtle Art Of Having A Breakdown
To have a hope in hells chance of getting to the Empire State before the worst of the tourist crowds (to which I now belong) snaked around the building - we had to get up early. As luck would have it the time difference between London and New York made this horrific task a walk … Continue reading Getting into a right (Empire) State
Upon setting foot in New York for the first time you will inevitably catch yourself and say “Holy shit – I’m in New York!” It’s a bucket lost location. A marvel. The beating heart of all my Carrie Bradshaw fantasies. Now that I was actually here, I wanted to leap out of bed raring to … Continue reading Gregory the great
I am in the fabulous United States of America. It only took a ten hour flight, vast quantities of bloody Mary's and the overpowering urge to escape from London to get me here. I have to tell you, the border security here is scary. They took fingerprints, a candid (and entirely unattractive) picture of me, … Continue reading New York, New York – a helluva town
In exactly three weeks I will be in New York. This is very exciting, obviously. I have not entirely recovered from my nasty bought of pneumonia but as I’m also not infectious any more a little recuperation in the good old US of A is just what the doctor ordered. I want to immerse myself … Continue reading New York State of mind