We recently had a heatwave in London. Even though it’s July, it was entirely unexpected. You see – when it’s hot in England it comes on suddenly and with a vengeance and it’s gone just as quickly.
I had put on a floaty dress to combat the temperature and as a result (and in order not to frighten any delivery men that were due to pop by) I also put on some nipple pasties to keep the girls in order.
As the evening wound on I was making nachos and fresh guacamole for dinner in an increasingly stuffy kitchen. As we live in a terribly old building there is no air conditioning and not even an extractor fan so the heat just got worse and worse. There was no breeze. The window was wide open but for all the air flow I was getting I might as well have paid an asthmatic to follow me around and blow on me. In a moment of desperation I piled my hair on top of my head with a chopstick and slapped the pasties on the fridge. Obviously I wouldn’t forget they were there. Who would forget they put nipple pasties on the fridge?
It was just simply too hot for silicone and barrel curls.
Five minutes later… I promptly forgot about them.
The next day, walking into the kitchen I could see Mr Maybe staring at the fridge with his head to one side. He indicated to the pasties and mumbled sleepily
“Are they new magnets?”
Um…
Sure
The Mottled Macaroon 